The First 48, A Crash Course in Motherhood

We didn’t get nine months. There were no visits watching an ultrasound or feeling kicks on the inside. There wasn’t a baby registry followed by a baby shower or two. There were no matching hospital bracelets or balloons to celebrate a special arrival.

Instead, there was a phone call.

There was a little one who needed a safe place to land. The current home situation had been interrupted and there was a need to place a child. All the details were still in the works. For how long, we didn’t and still don’t know.

But we said yes.

We said yes in faith because that’s what we signed up for as foster parents. We were met at home with a case worker, a beautiful baby in a car seat, and a few essentials to get us started. After about thirty minutes, we were on our own. A little one looking up at us as if to say, “Well, what happens next?”

I’ll never forget the first forty-eight hours. A whirlwind of emotions and chaos and learning. We had never been parents and here we were doing it abruptly, not in a hospital with a call bell if we had questions. We hadn’t been training in changing diapers and now we were trying to measure formula and mix up bottles. Doing all the things that just twenty-four hours prior I had dreamed and hoped I would get to do one day. I’m pretty sure neither my husband or I had dinner that first night, and I’m not sure if I drank any water either.

Not long before this, I had finished a Bible study with a group of women from all over the United States who were in the throes of infertility. One of the reminders each time we met was that at any point, you are one moment away from your miracle. The importance of believing and praying no wimpy prayers. To come to God honest, giving Him our true selves since He knows us better than anyone. Believing in faith that God can and will do what He promises us. I didn’t realize the night before that I was so close to receiving a miracle. I went to work that morning like I always did, unaware my miracle would come through a phone call, and I would say yes, shaking, because I believed God was going to show up. And He has done just that.

A lot of diapers have been changed. We’ve had bubble baths with more water outside the tub than inside, walks to the park, playdates with friends and family, and lots of snacks and ice cream. There have been sleepless nights, a lot of them early on. We’ve had adventures and lots of laughs. There have been a few meltdowns and some days where we have battled not feeling well. There have been lots of prayers and love given without any knowledge of the future. I think that’s how God wants us to love. To give freely an unconditional love. To give so much love to those around us because we truly do not know what the future will bring.

I think about those first forty-eight hours often. How we relied on our closest family and friends to support us, to rock the baby while we took a nap, or just allow us to eat a bite of food. We couldn’t have made it through without them and they still continue to help us today.

This Mother’s Day, I’m thankful. I’ve never experienced a love like this, and I only pray in faith that I can hold onto it forever. I remember all the years that I dreaded this day. Years of loss and pain seemed to follow me around and I had such a pit in my stomach seeing pictures of moms with their children and hearing their stories and about their special day. Even though I was thankful for my mother and the women in my life, I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. The ache was tough. Loss of a baby and all of the dreams that I had for that little one is something that doesn’t go away just because the dates on the calendar change. It’s something that changes you as a person. It’s made me more grateful for this experience I now find myself in. I may get tired some days, but I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything. It is truly the greatest experience.

To all of the women today, thank you. Whether you are a biological mom, an advocate for girls around you, a foster mom, a surrogate mom, a step/bonus mom, a teacher, an aunt, an adoptive mama, or a mama who has had to say good-bye entirely too soon, you are loved and you matter. You are making a difference in your corner. May you feel loved today, regardless of what your road to motherhood has looked like. No journey is better than the other and no route is straight all of the time. Today is not just for one particular mom, it’s for us all. May you embrace your story and give God thanks for how He is working in your life today. All of the details being worked behind the scenes are going to unfold in a beautiful picture for you, one day soon. I’m thankful for my crash course in motherhood and all of the things yet to come. Things may not have been perfect, but God has been working and I’m still holding onto Him.

Colossians 2:7

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.