Lament 1: A Biblical Way to Grieve

Even though I’ve grown up in the church my entire life, it wasn’t until recently that I started to study the concept of lament.  According to Dictionary.com, to lament is to express sorrow or to mourn over.  As I have grown to learn, to lament is very Biblical.

I’m not sure why, but it’s not a topic that I’ve heard discussed much in the church.  We don’t talk about the depths of grief from a biblical perspective often enough.  Sure, we pray for the grieving.  We’ve all probably heard Psalm 23 recited at funerals, and the mention of Heaven meant to extend hope to the deepest areas of hurt in our lives.  We all grieve and go through difficult seasons, so it shouldn’t be complicated, right?  Wrong.

Grief is just that.  It’s one hundred percent messy and complicated.  It’s got more ups and downs than a rollercoaster.  There’s no step-by-step way to “get healed,” but rather you must take on the ebbs and flows one moment at a time.  I wish I had come across the biblical concept of lament long before now.  For it has showered my seasons of grief with much grace.  A reminder that I’m not alone, and neither are you.

The author of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Mark Vroegop, shares-

“Lament is how you live between the poles of a hard life and trusting in God’s sovereignty.”

As I’ve studied this concept of lament, I’ve come across familiar verses we’ve probably all heard before, as well as verses I didn’t realize would be categorized as lament.  All with the same goal of reminding us that our grief is seen by a sovereign God.  Reminding us that we can encourage each other in our grieving, knowing that as believers our goal is Heaven.  One day soon, no more grief, tears, or sadness.  Only rejoicing.

Since I released my first book, Looking Back to Look Ahead, in 2023, I’ve had the opportunity to share my story through multiple speaking engagements.  After each event, I’ve encountered a similar response.  Grief is a part of everyone’s story.  There’s not a person who hasn’t encountered suffering.  Everyone is healing from something.  Grief is real, and grief is raw.

There’s a common concept for everyone I have talked to about grief.  No matter what type of grief it has been, everyone wants a quick fix.  We want to engage in methods to provide relief quickly without wasting time.  The thought of a journey toward healing is scary and long, and overwhelming.  I understand.  From someone who has been on a healing journey for some time, I get that a quick fix would have been easier.  But every twist and turn has taught me something.  Each up and down has me drawing closer to God.  And I think that is what God wants us to do.  To rely on Him more and more.

I’m thankful to serve a healing God.  A God who shepherds me gently in my grieving and guides my healing.  I pray that over these next few weeks, you can find joy in the lament.  That you will not be afraid when difficult times arise, but rather you will find rest in God’s love and mercy, knowing that not one tear goes unseen.  God is working out all of the details.  Can you trust Him today?

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;

    I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

    He leads me beside peaceful streams.

    He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

    bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

    through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

    for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

    protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

    in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

    My cup overflows with blessings. 

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

    all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord

    forever.