A Peace Greater Than it All

I understand it now.  The peace that was often discussed in church.  I remember all of those times sitting in the church pew and hearing about a “peace that surpasses all understanding.” I heard it more than once.  Even growing up as a believer, I had no idea just how it worked or what I should feel.  It was easy to feel as if I was doing something wrong because I didn’t understand or grasp this well-known topic discussed in the church.

I have said it before here on the blog, but I love the book of Philippians in the New Testament.  It’s always been one of my favorite books, full of joy in challenge.  A reminder that when we put our trust in God, we will not fail.

Philippians 4:4-9

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

As I read these verses now, years into my faith journey with new meat on my bones, if you will, I read these verses with new eyes.  I read them from a place of survival.  Of vulnerability.  

Ben and I have begun a new journey in our marriage, serving as foster parents.  We have learned a lot and we have grown abundantly.  It’s been a place of loving without fear.  Of trusting God completely because we have absolutely no control, and it’s been tough.  It’s been challenging not knowing from day to day what could happen or how things will go.  Of having little support outside of our closest family and friends, we’ve relied on our faith in God to guide us as we have cared for little ones in our home.  

To be entrusted to care for a child in need is humbling.  We’ve been standing in the gap for a family unit while they’ve been trying to piece their lives back together.  It’s a mixture of joy and grief.  Of happiness and our selfish desires.  It’s been extending a hand to a stranger and offering second, third, or fourth chances, always believing and hoping for the best. 

It’s been a reminder that God always has and will be a part of this little one’s life.  He knows the circumstances that led them to my home, allowing me to love them and provide for them for a season, and He already knows just where they will go and who they will grow up to become.  It’s loving someone who isn’t meant to stay.  It’s allowing grief and joy to coexist for God’s glory.

I’ll be completely honest, there have been ugly moments.  Times in which I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and tell everyone to leave me alone.  Moments in which I’ve wanted to scream because a system doesn’t “know” a child.  They don’t know the tears or the cries.  They don’t know what the little ones like and don’t like.  They haven’t stayed up all night.  They haven’t invested.  But God does.  He knows all of it and so much more.

It’s been in this place of grief and joy, standing in the gap, that I finally understand this peace I’ve been hearing about in church.  I understand that relying on God brings peace.  It brings a stillness that the world doesn’t give.  It doesn’t wipe away all of my tears or frustrations, but I’ve learned that I can bring them to God in conversation and prayer.  That nothing catches Him off guard.

Matthew 11:30

For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.

I understand Scripture better now because it’s all I’ve had to rely on.  It’s what has filled my mind as I’ve changed diapers or rocked a little one to sleep.  As I’ve prayed over the little ones and handed them back, I’ve been reminded that God is holding me, too.  I can now understand the peace that God intends for us to have through Christ.  

It’s a peace that God gives us.  It bridges a gap from deep grief and pain to utmost joy.  It’s contentment, no matter what the circumstances around us may look like.  I know that with God, I can stand in the gap.  I can hold all of the emotions because God is holding me.  He already knows everything in the future, giving me comfort and calmness during any storm.

I pray that you can know this same peace.  Regardless of what situation you may find yourself in, know that God is the only One who understands your emotions.  He holds you now and forever, and nothing catches Him by surprise.  He will not waste anything you walk through.  I pray that you can find peace in the storms of life.  That you have the strength to come to Him and know that He can and will continue to guide you through this life.  It may not change your circumstances, but it will give you the strength to keep on keeping on.  A peace greater than it all.  It’s enough for me.