To the One Who Feels It’s Not Enough

There’s a heaviness all around.  I know I’m not the only one feeling a weight and trying to figure out how to navigate the constant changes that this life can and will bring.  It’s exhausting.

There are a lot of people out there working really hard.  To hold it together.  To meet the needs of others.  To keep showing up.  Doing all the things day in and day out.  Oftentimes, without a fuss.  Without accolades.  Without much-needed rest.

As I was driving home from work one afternoon, my mind was weary.  Though the road was familiar as I drove it every day, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was traveling unfamiliar territory.  It was one of those days that I just felt off.  Like nothing mattered.  Was all of this hard work worth it?  Was it enough?  I was totally stuck in my own mind.

God showed up, as He always does.  This time through a newer song I hadn’t heard before.  The song, “I Remind Myself” by LO Worship (I’ve linked the song below), had just been released.  I caught onto the phrase, “And these tears will grow a garden, someday soon.  You are making all things new.”  A reminder that in what I cannot see or fathom, God is working.  He’s making something beautiful in and through it all.  In times of overwhelm, reminding ourselves of God’s faithfulness can and will be enough to carry us through the hectic twists of life.

I was reminded of the parable from the Gospels regarding the feeding of the five thousand.  The disciples were freaking out about how to feed everyone, and Jesus was completely calm.  He already knew everything was going to be okay.  I’m sure I would have been losing my mind trying to scramble to find food and ensure everyone was happy and full.  Can you imagine?  And they had no Walmart!

Jesus used the gifts from a young, innocent boy.  His lunch of a couple of loaves of bread and some fish.  It’s clear that when God is going to use someone for something big, He’s going to show up big.  God always comes through.  More than 5,000 people were fed that day with a seemingly small amount of food.  Not only a reminder to trust God to come through, but a reminder to take in moments.  To not be so caught up in how everything is going to work out that we miss the miracle in front of us.  The blessing of being together and being present.

John 6:1-15

After this, Jesus crossed over to the far side of the Sea of Galilee, also known as the Sea of Tiberias. A huge crowd kept following him wherever he went, because they saw his miraculous signs as he healed the sick. Then Jesus climbed a hill and sat down with his disciples around him. (It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration.) Jesus soon saw a huge crowd of people coming to look for him. Turning to Philip, he asked, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” He was testing Philip, for he already knew what he was going to do.

Philip replied, “Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!”

Then Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up. “There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?”

“Tell everyone to sit down,” Jesus said. So they all sat down on the grassy slopes. (The men alone numbered about 5,000.) Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks to God, and distributed them to the people. Afterward he did the same with the fish. And they all ate as much as they wanted. After everyone was full, Jesus told his disciples, “Now gather the leftovers, so that nothing is wasted.” So they picked up the pieces and filled twelve baskets with scraps left by the people who had eaten from the five barley loaves.

When the people saw him do this miraculous sign, they exclaimed, “Surely, he is the Prophet we have been expecting!” When Jesus saw that they were ready to force him to be their king, he slipped away into the hills by himself.

It’s a reminder that you and I are enough.  The tasks and responsibilities in your corner that you are excelling at matter.  Rocking the little one back to sleep when you’re exhausted matters.  Dropping the baby off at school matters.  Showing up for work and doing your best even if no one notices matters.  Hitting the gym matters.  Spending time with your friends and family matters.  Dinner together without the phones matters.  Sending the message or making the phone call matters.  Doing the laundry matters.

Whatever the task you may find yourself in, know that God has you where you are for a reason.  All of the tasks matter.  Each is important and can be used by God for His glory and for our good.  Watch Him work.  He always comes through for us.