A Line in the Sand (Part 1)
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking and studying the art of biblical boundaries. Pondering the importance of caring for ourselves first and foremost before setting out to meet the needs of others. Learning how to not only implement boundaries but to do so in a way that radiates love and respect.
There are a variety of reasons that a boundary must be established. Webster’s Dictionary defines a boundary as something that indicates or extends a limit. There may be relational boundaries regarding behavior and access to certain people. A court system and a judge uphold boundaries with laws set in place. There are boundaries in school, such as when to be quiet and listen, and when to be loud. There are boundaries in a workplace, when to show up and when to go home, the responsibilities related to your job that must be completed, and how you must interact with others.
As I think back to the ever-popular creation story, we see that boundaries were given as the Bible and the world both began. The day met with the boundary of the night. The land with the sea. If you want more information, start in Genesis, chapter one.
After God created Adam and then Eve, He gave them strict rules for enjoying their surroundings. A boundary that they could enjoy it all, except not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The most beautiful tree in the center of the garden. Naturally, they were tempted by the enemy to give in, and because of their choice to disobey the boundary given by God, sin has entangled the world ever since. The enemy is incredibly cunning and knows the way to make us rethink decisions, push the limits just a bit further than we previously did, and let us know that whatever bad decision we just made wasn’t all that bad. He overwhelms our God-given conscience, making it easier to give in to sin.
God spoke moral boundaries through Moses and the Ten Commandments. You can find these listed in Exodus 20. Rules to live by, not only for our sake but for the sake of others. Even thousands of years after they were written, they are still challenging to follow and obey, no matter how good we feel we are.
As I’ve been studying boundaries and their importance, as well as my own boundaries in real life, I’ve realized that they aren’t often well accepted. A boundary means that a line has been drawn. Access to something or someone is now limited. We see a reaction to a boundary when a young child throws a temper tantrum because their grown-up won’t let them have a piece of candy at the grocery store checkout because it’s too close to dinner. No matter how old we get, we don’t like being told no.
Dr. Henry Cloud is a well-known pastor, clinical psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author of the book Boundaries. He has shared considerable expertise over the years regarding the importance of boundaries and how others will accept them. He said this:
“When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial responsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them towards responsibility.”
We each have a responsibility to others. We all must take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions. Sure, we may all go through difficult seasons and face challenging circumstances. How we choose to respond is up to us.
Galatians 5:22-26
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
None of us can “fix” each other. Sure, by our actions we can point others toward Heaven, but we are still human. God didn’t give us a job of fixing but of loving others like Jesus. Before loving others, we must choose to love ourselves first. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves and filling our cups before we do the same for and with others.
Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.
As we begin this three-part series on boundaries, I hope to encourage you to fill your cup before you run to fill others' cups. Even our closest family members and little ones who rely on us will appreciate our cups being full when we work together to tackle responsibilities. Showing ourselves love and respect is the first thing we can do aside from giving our day to God and asking for His presence to be evident in everything we say and do. Don’t pour from an empty cup this week. Guard your heart, don’t let others rip it up. Your life is much too precious for that.
